Not Larry Nice
by Ub3rD4n
Summary: Mac notices that ever since Foul Larry moved to Fosters, he and Wilt haven't been getting along. So he and Bloo try to cook up a scheme to get them away from each other's throats!


Now, I have some semi-inflammatory opinions on Fosters fanfic, which I'll keep to myself, but I think that I'm just as bad as the worst fanfic writer if I'm just complaining (even if it IS just in my head) and not doing anything to improve the overall quality of Fosters fanfics, so I'm glad to finally be getting this done. Hopefully I'll live up to my own expectations and keep in the Fosters spirit. So, enough jabbin', time for the fic! 

Title shot: Title card in green and orange with a white cackground

Chapter 1: In the way

It was an ordinary day at Fosters (ooh, BTW, look up Fosters Ordinary day on Youtube. Okay, back on topic). The sun was shining through the inordinately long windows, imaginary friends were wandering the halls at random, as they are wont to do in all those intro scenes. Good day.

In the kitchen, Jackie Khones was trying to reach a box of cereal in the pantry, but being rather vertically challenged, was having a difficult time of it. "Hey, Wilt," he asked of the very tall, red, imaginary friend walking past, "mind giving me a hand here?"

"Sure thing." Wilt replied with a smile, and reached his one arm up and got the box down for him. "Thanks Wilt."  
"No problem."

Wilt then reached over pulled up a stool at the kitchen table for another friend. "Get your chair for you?"  
"Thanks Wilt"

As Wilt made to move along, Bloo and Mac came walking in. "Hey, Wilt!" exclaimed Bloo, "Just the figment I was lookin' for. See, Mac and I were playing with the Whizbee and I said I could throw it higher than Mac, and he said no, I couldn't and I was all like: I so can! And he-"  
"Bloo!" Interjected Mac, whose patience was running out.  
"I'm gettin' there, keep your shirt on. So I found this big ol' inner tube and I said I could throw it farther with this, and Mac said it wasn't a good idea, but I-"  
"You did it anyway?" Wilt supplied.  
"I did it anyway! And MAN did that thing fly! It hit the gazebo, bounced of the big oak tree, ricocheted off'a the extremasaur cage, and landed right on the flagpole on the very top of the house!"  
"And you were wondering if I could get it down for you." Said Wilt.  
"Couldja? I'd get Mac to, but he's so darn slow, I'd be waiting 'till next August"  
"Well, sure!" replied Wilt, "Anything for a friend!"

Just then, with a THUMP! THUMP! another friend entered the kitchen. He was 12 feet tall, orange, with a green and white basketball uniform on. Number zero. And he had a mean scowl on his basketball shaped head. He walked past Wilt and, on the way, accidentally slammed Bloo into the nearby kitchen wall!

"Watch where you're goin', pipsqueak."

There was silence. A frown formed on Wilt's normally smiling face. His one working eye narrowed with anger. "I'm sorry, Larry, but that is not OK!"

All the friends in the room (and Mac) watched as Larry turned to face Wilt. "You wanna make something of it? Shortie?"

"What if I do?"  
"Bring it on, little man."

Just when the two friends seemed on the verge of physical violence, the silence was interrupted by a ka-thump! ka-thump! ka-thump! And a very stern looking Mr. Herriman entered the room. "I say! What is going on here? Master Wilt, Master Larry, break this up immediately! Why, you should be ashamed!"

At this, both friends reluctantly went their separate ways. "And I should expect better of you both in the future!" Mr. Herriman called out after them.  
"Man, ever since Foul Larry moved in, he and Wilt have been at each other's throats", noted Mac. "Wow, that would be an AWESOME fight!" Remarked Bloo. "We don't want them to fight, Bloo! We want them to be friends! I hate seeing Wilt so mad." said Mac, sadly. "Well, I'm going to do something about it!" He exclaimed. 

"Before or after we get the whizbee down?" asked Bloo.

Chapter 2: Best laid plans

Later, in Bloo's room, Mac and Bloo were brainstorming ideas to stop the bitter feud between Wilt and Foul Larry.

"Okay, what if we tell them about my Whizbee, forcing them to work together for the greater good?"  
"Bloo, we're not trying to get your Whizbee. We're trying to help Wilt and Larry get along. Forget the stupid Whizbee, okay?"  
"Well, what if-"  
"Forget the Whizbee, Bloo!"  
"How'd you know I was gonna say-"  
"It's kinda obvious, Bloo. It was the thing that would annoy me most."

Silence, as the two were trying to think up another plan.

"Okay, then, what if we kidnap Madame Foster? Then they'd have to work together to rescue her!" suggested Bloo.  
"We're not kidnapping Madame Foster!"  
"You're just mad that you didn't think of it first." Said Bloo, sulkily.

More silence, as the two were again deep in thought. Again, Bloo came up with something first. "What if we set something on fire?"  
"That wouldn't help at all! And we can't just set things on fire!"  
"Then you're not trying hard enough!"  
"Ugh, Bloo, if you could think logically for five seconds straight-"  
"At least I'm trying! You haven't come up with anything yet!"  
"Well, that's because I instantly discard any ideas which are patently dangerous or nonsensical! Anyone could come up with the kinda stuff you've been saying!"  
"Well, go on then!'  
"What?"  
"Come up with something, anything!"  
"Uhhhh...candy floss...bees?" Mac blurted out, panicked.

A long period of silence ensued, with Bloo glaring at Mac and Mac looking embarrassed.

"Y'know, maybe with some work..." Bloo began. "We're not going to have candy floss bees!" cried Mac, completely out of patience. "Well, don't shout at me, it was your idea." snapped Bloo.

"Hola, Senor Mac. Hola Senor Azul." Said a large purple monster who had entered the room unnoticed during the argument. "What you doing?"  
"Oh hey, Eduardo." replied Mac. Me AND BLOO" he glared at Bloo during this part "were trying to think of a way to stop Wilt and Foul Larry from fighting."  
"Ooh, that Foul Larry is so tall and scary." Eduardo remarked. "You think he a good guy inside?"  
"Maybe, I dunno." replied Mac." I'd just be happy if those two could meet in a hallway and not get into a fight."

"Hmmmm..." Eduardo mused. "What if... we have a fiesta! Lots of good food always makes me smile. If we do that, maybe Senor Wilt and Senor Foul Larry realise that they no wanna fight."  
"You kiddin' me?" scoffed Bloo, "That's even lamer than candy floss bees!"  
"Of course! If we have a barbecue, it may help those two open up! Thanks Eduardo!" Exclaimed Mac. Bloo crossed his arms and sulked some more. "Oh, no problemo, Senor Mac. Anything to make him less scary." Replied Eduardo modestly.

"I got it!" exclaimed Bloo (yet again). "What if we tell them Eduardo has cancer!"  
"Bloo, why would anyone say Eduardo has cancer? That's just dumb."

..."Cancer?" asked Eduardo.

Chapter Three: Barbeque

The air sizzled on the hot summer's day. It was perfect weather for the barbeque that was going on. Mr. Herriman manned (or rabbited) the grill wearing his traditional garb along with an apron with the words "Grill the Chef" on it.

"I say, this barbeque was a capital idea, Master Mac. One does enjoy getting out in the fresh air in this weather." Mr. Herriman commented. "Oh, yeah. I get the feeling this is gonna be a great day" replied Mac, who turned to Bloo, who was scarfing down hot dogs and had about five in his arms. "Come on, Bloo, we gotta go." Mac told Bloo, who ate the remaining hot dogs in one gulp and then made to follow Mac, who was walking off to find Wilt. "Now, you remember the plan?" asked Mac. "Like the back of my hand." replied Bloo, confidently. "You don't have hands" Mr. Herriman heard Mac say, as the two went out of hearing range. Coco approached and put up a foot with a hot dog bun in it. "Miss Coco," stated Mr. Herriman "you cannot expect me to serve you food, knowing you will be holding it with your feet. It's filthy."  
"Cocococococo cocococo." replied Coco. "Ah, well, if you put it that way, then yes, by all means" Mr. Herriman acquiesced, and served her up a dog.

"C'mon Wilt. Bloo, Coco and I are gonna be sitting over here." Mac said, as he dragged Wilt by the arm to a picnic bench. "Okay, Mac, whatever you say." replied Wilt. "Okay, I'm gonna go get you something to eat. Stay right there." said Mac, once Wilt was standing around the bench. "Oh, no, you don't have to" said Wilt, making to walk over to the grill himself. "No, no, I INSIST." growled Mac, as he tried to shove Wilt back towards the bench. "Well, okay, thanks, Mac!" Shouted Wilt, as Mac ran off.

"-And only the cooooolest imaginary friends get to sit on THIS bench. That's why I'm gonna be there." assured Bloo of Foul Larry, who he was dragging to the same picnic table as Wilt. "Nowstayrightthereanddon'tmove!" He blurted out once Larry had made it, while he ran off to join Mac and Eduardo.

"Okay, the sour ball is in the piñata, repeat, the sour ball is in the piñata." Bloo stated as soon as he reached Mac and Ed. "Bloo, I'm right here, and we aren't using code." Mac said in response. "You ready, Ed?"  
"You sure I no get cancer?"  
"No, that was just a dumb rumor, now go! Before they get into a fight!"  
"Hey."  
"Hi."  
"Soooo...you seen the game last night?"  
"Yeah, that ref was way out of line. That weren't no trippin'."  
"Oh, you WOULD say that, you big cheater!"  
"Oh, yeah, well, at least I win games!"  
"Well at least I have friends!"  
"At least I have two arms!"  
"I'm sorry, you did NOT just go there!"  
At this point, Eduardo interposed himself between the two arguing friends (having just arrived on the scene) and put his hands in the air. "Hold up, hooold up. Now everybody just calm down. Now I see you is mad at each other, but you know what might help? If we talk about our feeeelings. Okay, you first, Senor Wilt."   
"Well, okay." said Wilt, stunned, and obviously not used to being asked how he feels. "I was just saying how Larry here is a jerk, and a cheater, and that makes me feel mad."   
"Okay, now Senor Larry, how you feel?"  
"Well, I was just trying to have a polite conversation, and then he goes and brings up all this stuff from the past. Why you gotta be bringin' up old stuff?"  
"I'm sorry, but you permanently broke my arm and eye! I had to have the arm amputated! And THEN you teased me about it!"  
"Well, if you weren't such a baby about it-"  
"Well, if you weren't such a jacka-"  
"Now, now, Wilt, you get your turn." Eduardo vainly tried to control the situation, but it was getting too far out of hand.  
"Cheater!"  
"Wuss!"  
"Kid crusher!"  
"Rabbit beater!"  
"You know WHAT?!" Wilt erupted "forget this. I'm just gonna go and have a nice barbeque with my FRIENDS. Come on, Eduardo." . And he stomped off, Eduardo trailing sadly behind.

Mac and Bloo, who were watching from afar, turned to face each other. "So, you think it worked? I can't lip read." Bloo asked. "No, Bloo, it went horribly." Mac answered, and lay down dejectedly on the grass. "Man, if this doesn't work, then what will?" The two sat there for a moment.  
"Well, duh!" Exclaimed Bloo. "We live in a house with HUNDREDS of creatures who were DESIGNED to be friendly! One of them's bound to know how to make those two friends!"

Cut to Duchess's room, with Duchess's head sticking out the door, and Mac and Bloo standing out front. "Go away." Duchess snorted, and slammed the door in their faces. "Okay, that first one doesn't count." noted Bloo.

Chapter 4: The OC

"Riding in the sun, chewing bubble gum, shooting people with my gun. California, here we come..."  
"Bloo, would you stop singing that irritating song and help me out here? We gotta ask all the friends in the house how they make people be friends. That way, we can use the best ideas on Wilt and Larry." Mac explained. "Man, it's a shame we can't do one of those things they do in TV, when they just show everyone's response over a few seconds of air time. That would make this SO much easier."

Friends' responses:

"When Red be friends with someone, Red give them a hug! And maybe some flowers."

"Try and include them in your games."

"Compliment them."

"Cocococococo."

"Maybe I could perform for them? A good laugh always helps. I got a new act where I get this mango..."

"Wellllll...what I reckon you should do..."  
"What? What? What? Get on with it!" Yelled Bloo to Creaky Pete

"You know what would help? A song!"

"I like chocolate milk"

"Well, what I think would help is a good game of cricket. Nothing like the sport of gentleman's to help build camaraderie." Claimed Mr. Herriman. "Crickets, eh?" mused Bloo.

Cut to Foul Larry walking down the hall. Suddenly, a bucket of crickets fall on him. "What the?" He snarled, looking around for the culprit. Not finding one, he stormed off. "You see that? asked Bloo, who was hiding with Mac behind a flower pot. "Nothing. Do you know how long it took me to find all those crickets?"  
"Man, this is a lot harder than I thought." said Mac. Just then, an imaginary friend shaped like a slug trying to walk upright came by. He was grey with white spots, and had really bad teeth. "Hey," he called out to Mac and Bloo. "My name's Slugger, and I'm new here. I'm ready to have all kinds of cool adventures here which are totally about me!"  
"Yeah, yeah, we're kinda busy here." Bloo waved him off. "Ooh! I could help! I could help!" Slugger chimed, as he jumped up and down. "Uh... are we supposed to know you?" Mac asked. After that, the new, annoying imaginary friend sulked off.

At that time, Eduardo walked past wearing water wings. "Uh, Ed," Mac asked, "what's with the water wings?"  
"Oh, I ask Senor Bendy how to help Wilt and Foul Larry and he tell me to go jump in a lake. I no like to go in the water without my water wingies." Eduardo replied, and walked off. "Oooookay..." Mac stated.

"Wait! I got it!" Bloo announced, and turned to face Mac. "All this time we were doing this YOUR way, Mac. But now we'll make them friends MY way." He started moving off to find Wilt. "Why do I get a bad feeling about this?" Mac asked himself.

"Hey, Wilt?" Bloo asked of Wilt, while he was walking the halls. "Yeah, Bloo?" Wilt replied. "Well, Mac and I have noticed that you and Foul Larry are always fighting and it makes us reeeaaalll saaaaadddd. So I was wondering, could you be friends with Foul Larry? For...us?" Bloo asked, doing his best innocent victim face, along with Mac. "I'm sorry Bloo, but Larry and I have some animosities that I don't think are gonna go away any time soon." Wilt answered, slightly annoyed. "I can't just make friends with him because you guys are uncomfortable about it." he finished sternly, and walked off. "I'm sorry." he added quickly, just before he left them.

"That wouldn't have happened if you guys had gotten MY help." Slugger popped up from around a corner to add. "Are you still here?" Bloo snapped.

Chapter 5: The Big Game

Mac and Bloo sat dejectedly on the grandiose main foyer staircase. All their plans and effort and, nothing! It was a Sunday, so Mac still had plenty of time to spend at Fosters, but still, he was feeling too down to play. At that moment, Frankie came walking by, mopping the floor as she went (cue cheers from all the Frankie fanboys. You'd thought I'd forgotten her, hadn't you?). "Hey, guys, why the long faces?" she asked. "Oh, hey, Frankie. We've been trying to stop the fighting between Wilt and Foul Larry all day, but we've gotten nowhere." Mac answered. "Hm," Frankie mused, "Well, people are more likely to be friends if they have some common interests. If you find any between Wilt and Larry, maybe they'll see that they're not so different after all."   
"Of course! That's such a brilliant idea!" Mac exclaimed. "Thanks Frankie, you're so awesome!" Mac yelled, as he ran off, Bloo in tow.

"Yeah, that's what they tell me." Frankie said to herself once they'd gone, and got back to mopping the floor.

"It's so obvious! Common interests! What's Wilt and Larry's common ground?" Mac shouted to Bloo, as they ran down the hallways. "Uhh...they both have toes?" Bloo replied. "No! Basketball, Bloo! They both love basketball!" Mac yelled. "-cause you see, I don't have toes..." Bloo mumbled.

The two stopped when they found Larry, who was brushing his teeth at the time. "Foul Larry! I challenge you to a five on five basketball game! Today! At three o clock! At the basketball court! If that's okay!" Mac called out to Foul Larry's back.

Foul Larry stopped, spat out his toothpaste in the sink, turned around, bent down and smiled. "You're on, little man. I hope you ready to get whipped." He said cheerfully, and walked off. "Mac, that was stupid, impulsive and rude!" Bloo said to Mac, "I'm proud of ya!"  
"Oh, it wasn't stupid, Bloo. I think if the two of them can enjoy themselves together in a game with nothing on the line, they'll come to appreciate each other as individuals." Mac rebuffed. "Yeah, actually, the stupid bit was how Larry's gonna pound the two of us into paste." Bloo commented. "Oh, come on, Bloo. Basketball's a non-contact sport. It's not as if he'll cheat or anything." Mac said offhandedly.  
"Uhhhhhhh, riiiight..."

In the halls, Eduardo, who was dripping wet, and walking back to his room. "Hey, Eduardo, you wanna play a game of basketball with us? We're putting a team together." Mac ran up from behind and told Eduardo.  
"Oh, and you want me? Gracias, Senor Mac, I would love to be in your team."  
"And we're playing Foul Larry!" Bloo added  
"Ay! Foul Larry! Is you loco? He tear me apart!"  
"Don't worry Eduardo, I won't let anything happen to you." Mac assured him, as the three entered their bedroom, where Wilt and Coco were sitting. "Guys, wanna join our basketball team? We already got Bloo and Eduardo." Mac announced.  
"Sure, count me in!"  
"Coco!"  
"Great! We're playing in a few minutes, so let's head down to the basketball court."

When they arrived at Fosters concrete basketball court, they saw that the area around it was packed with friends. It seemed that everyone had turned up to watch this game. Foul Larry must have told someone, and word travels pretty quick in a house like Fosters. "Hey, there, shortie. I knew you'd be here." came a call from across the court. The Fosters Five turned their attention to the far end of the court, wherein came their opposition (Seen here in dramatic slo-mo)

Foul Larry came walking on first, but he was followed by some of the biggest and toughest imaginary friends in the house: Omnizot, Moose, The New Guy, and also, for some reason, Red.

The teams lined up on their sides of the court as Stats came forward, carrying the ball. "Yo, thanks fo' agreein' to ref this match at such short notice. I appreciate it." said Larry. "Oh, I wouldn't miss this match for the world." replied Stats.

"I didn't know we'd be facing Foul Larry." Wilt commented to Mac.  
"I'm sorry, Wilt, I-"  
"Don't be. I've been meaning to do this for a while now."

The ball went up. The timer started. And Wilt got it. He danced around the other team's players to score one right in the hoop. The crowd went wild.

Once the ball was sent back up, Wilt grabbed it again. But this time the other players had made a better attempt at blocking Wilt, so he just passed it to Mac, who was conveniently waiting right next to the opponents' hoop. He shot, and he scored!

The next time the ball went up, Larry got it. He made for the hoop, but Bloo grabbed it straight off of him. He passed to Coco, who decided to bounce the ball sideways with her head, but nonetheless made it to the hoop for a score.

After that, Wilt got the ball again, and had a clear shot of the hoop, but instead passed it to Bloo. "Go for gold, Bloo!" he called. Bloo made for the hoop, but Red came up in front and BAM! knocked Bloo over. He then jumped up and down cheering "Red smash Bloo! Red good at sports!" and Foul Larry picked the ball off the ground and shot it straight into the Fosters Five's hoop.

"Hey! That was cheating!" Mac cried. "I didn't see nothin'." replied Larry, smiling. "Don't let him get to you, Mac. Just play the game." Wilt told him.

But over the course of the game, the cheating became more and more flagrant. When Eduardo had the ball, The New Guy ran at him screaming "Booga booga booga!" making Eduardo let go of the ball and run the other way. When Coco had the ball, Omnizot tripped her with one of his tentacles. When Mac had the ball, Moose just picked him up and grabbed the ball off of him! Eventually, with about half the game left, Mac called a time out. The gang were tired and beaten. "Hey, Wilt, can you go get some drinks for us?" asked Mac. "Sure thing, Mac!" Wilt replied, and went off to the house to get them. "Okay" said Mac, while everyone was gathered around, "We're getting our butts handed to us, but I got a way to win. But Wilt can't know, you guys got it?"  
"Why not?" asked Eduardo  
"Oh, you'll see..."

Chapter 6: The Plan

"You sure we should be cheatin' like this?" The New Guy asked Larry. "This is street rules, like Wilt and I used to play back in the 'hood. They just bein' babies." Larry replied. "Red feel bad for smash Bloo..." Red commented. "I told you, Red! You is SUPPOSED to smash the other team in sports! It's expected! Now let's get back out there and finish this thing."

As the game got set to kick into high gear again, The teams assembled on their respective sides. Mac winked to Bloo, Eduardo and Coco, who winked back. Wilt was too focused on Foul Larry to notice. The buzzer sounded, and the game was back on! Foul Larry got the ball, and passed it to Omnizot. "Let's see some hustle, okay!?" Wilt called out to his team members.

As Omnizot ran for the hoop, Mac set to block him (which looked kinda ridiculous, considering the size difference). As Omnizot barreled down on Mac, he yelled "Space Time Freeze go!" which caused Omnizot to freeze in his tracks. "I see someone isn't wearing their Super-slippery-space-time underwear today" Mac commented as he grabbed the ball off of him and made off to the opposite hoop. "Cursed laundry day!" cried Omnizot impotently. "Hm, that was unusual." commented Wilt, who had observed the scene, but not heard the words, except the last ones.

As the game progressed, Wilt's teammates used more and more underhanded tricks to even the playing field with Larry's team, whenever Wilt wasn't watching. Coco, with the ball, being approached by The New Guy to block, layed an egg for him, which rolled in front of her. It popped open, and The New Guy found that it was filled with pepper spray! "Augh! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pepper spray in it!". When approached by Moose, who was attempting to steal the ball, Eduardo simply lowered his head and charged, knocking Moose high into the air to land on the ground and crack the pavement. "oooohhhh...". Bloo, with the ball, when approached by Red, pointed and called out "What's that?"  
"Huh?" SMACK!  
"Owie! Who did that?"  
"That guy over there!"  
"Huh?" SMACK!  
"Ow!"  
"Now he's behind you!"  
"Huh?" Red turned around. BOOT! "Ow! Help me, Bloo!"

The meanest trick was saved for last. As Mac ran at the enemy hoop with the ball, Foul Larry came up to steal it off of him and Mac...ran the other way! Towards his own hoop! Foul Larry couldn't believe his luck, and chased after, only to be tripped by some rope held up by Coco and Eduardo. they wrapped it around his legs and then Bloo grabbed one end, wrapped it around Foul Larry's body (for which he had to climb on top of him) and then yelled "Timberrrrr!" before jumping off and sending Larry crashing to the ground.

Unfortunately, Wilt had managed to catch this. "Hey, you guys! That is not okay! Now you untie Foul Larry and you help him up!' Said Wilt, and proceeded to do just that. "You can't cheat at sports. It just goes against everything basketball is about." He admonished the others, who had the decency to look ashamed. "You're right shortie." said Foul Larry. "From now on, no cheatin'."  
"But there's only a couple seconds left in the game!" replied The New Guy. "Well, after all we put them through, I think these guys deserve a penalty shot." claimed Larry.

"Penalty shot awarded to the red team!" yelled stats, who was reading 46 to 47 to Larry. The other players cleared off. The only two left were Wilt and Larry. Wilt stood at the halfway point, made his shot...it went in ultra-super slo-mo, as happens to vital last-second shots...the friends around the court all stood breathless, except for Slugger, who yelled "Kill him!"...Larry went to block it and...blocked it! 

EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
The buzzer sounded. All the friends around the court cheered. Mac, Eduardo and Coco looked sad. Bloo shouted "We were ripped!".

Wilt and Larry approached each other and stopped. "Good game." said Wilt, and put his hand out. "Likewise shortie." Foul Larry returned, and shook it. "I'm looking forward to playing you again sometime." Wilt added. "Yeah, anytime you wanna get yo but whipped, I'm up fo it." Larry replied. "Well, I gotta go. Me and my boys got a celebration party to attend!" He added, as he left.

"Wow, Bloo. We made a difference after all." said Mac. "Who cares! Where's my trophy?" Bloo yelled. "Who cares?" mimicked Mac. "There's a party back at the house."  
"Party? I'm there!" cried Bloo, and ran off to the house, followed by Mac, Eduardo, Coco, and eventually, Wilt. 

The End

Epilogue:

"Hey!" cried Slugger, "What gives!? Where's my party? Where's my storyline? I got gypped!" Zoom out to reveal he is standing in the dark and completely DESERTED basketball court. "Come on! Answer me! I know you're out there!"

Continue zooming out, and fade to black.


End file.
